Besides not sleeping well at night, and passing out in the wee hours of the morning only to wake up with the birds a few hours later, the today was rather uneventful. We woke up, I took Nik to school, I skipped PWOC to cut coupons for my Coupon Swap ladies, did a little laundry, went to work, and came back home again.
I am exhausted, but I can't get to sleep, nor can I stay asleep at night. Everyone suggests sleeping aids, but the problem with that is I am home alone with a three-year-old. What happens when I take a sleep aid and then I cannot get up to help him?
My mother-in-law told me not to hesitate seeking help if I needed it. That my doctor can prescribe mild antidepressants. Sometimes, I swear that woman forgets everything I've ever told her. I've pretty much dealt with depression my entire life, even as a child. I had a grandmother and a mother who both battled regular bouts of depression, and when you add a violent ex-husband to the mix, I did, too. Only I took the last one I ever want to take the day I kicked that ex-husband out of my life. I know the signs. Social reclusivness is second only to wanting to sleep it all away, at least for me. Pretty sure I've got that one backwards at the moment.
I also know that it can be a slippery slope and it can be sneaky, too. But I have work and I have friends and I have a child who needs me. I'm not saying it won't happen, I'm just saying I'm not going to jump on that bandwagon. I will not say I'm "depressed" or "having a depression" unless I am. And even then, I'll probably only say it to my doctor.
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